Whether you’ve seen Hunger Games or not you’ve probably heard this iconic line from the book/movie at some point, ‘…may the odds be ever in your favor’. This was said to a crowd of parents, siblings and grandparents as the District children were collected and taken away to nearly inevitable death. Super dark I know, but I can’t help reflecting on the fact I’ve sarcastically quoted this to myself at times when I consider current divorce statistics.
According to a recent article I read from World Population Review, current divorce rates in the United States for first time marriages are at 50%. I think most of us have heard this statistic, but what’s even more alarming is the divorce rate for second and third marriages coming in at 60% and 73% respectively. Now for me personally, I like to pile it on and take into consideration my occupation as a first responder which some studies indicate may increase the likelihood of divorce by up to three times! I don’t know about you but those are some pretty discouraging odds.
Call us crazy but Brad and I are trying again! Some of you may legitimately think we’re lunatics and maybe we have to be a little crazy to do it again. Especially if you’ve been through divorce yourself. But we have NEVER shied away from the reality of how difficult a first time marriage and remarriage can be. To quote my incredibly wise parents, ‘Marriage is hard!’ and we’ve decided, despite the odds and despite the difficulty, it is incredibly rewarding and incredibly worth it. So here we go…
A little history first, Brad and I were married December 25, 2019. For all intents and purposes we are newlyweds. But, like I said in our welcome post, we have A LOT of experience. Both of us were previously married (different spouses) for a combined total of 13 years [Brad(6) me(7)] . Our experience and perspective stems from both previous marriages, lots of personal reflection and our current relationship.
Over the last year and a half of marriage we have worked hard to develop our personal strategy to beat the odds. Here are a few things we have discovered (and honed through trial, error and conflict) are vital to our current and future success as a couple:
Faith
Vulnerability
Boundaries
Communication
Optimism
Trust
Grace
Over the next several posts we will be discussing on our blog each of these topics and how we use them in our marriage to help us overcome the odds.
I want to leave you with this; you are not a statistic, your relationship is not a statistic, your future and the future of your relationship is not decided. Everyday you have the choice to show up and choose differently for yourself and your marriage whether it’s your first, second, third etc.
Make your own odds…
remarriedforlife.com 